Creepy FedEx Guy
Yeah, he just keeps getting more and more freaky. He's been delivering FedExes here for a long time, so I'm pretty sure he's legit and not some psycho who killed a FedEx guy and stole his uniform. It all started a couple weeks ago... I had the office door locked because I was there alone (bosses' orders), but since I knew he was the FedEx guy and was bearing packages, I let him in. "Lockin' me out, huh?" he said. And of course, being the nice, kind, not-wanting-to-hurt-anybody's-feelings office manager than I am, I explained to him that it wasn't personal, just following orders. And he proceeded to agree with the wisdom of such a practice, but the look he gave me changed ever so slightly. And it weirded me out. Ever since then, whenever I unlock the door to let him in, he lauds my safety-conscious bosses--a little too much. Then last time, he took the weirdness to a new level. My boss was even in the office at this point. I signed his clipboard and he said, "No, you have to sign your real name." Not catching on, I protested that it was my real name. And he goes, "Miss America." I was so creeped out, I almost couldn't move. Since then I have run over multiple scenarios in my head, mentally testing out the tactical advantage of a Bic pen. I HAVE A BALLPOINT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!!