Ghosts of My Past
I said he was dead to me. I was more right than I knew, for now he has become a ghost and he haunts me.
He appears to me in crowds, in mutual friends, and most unsettlingly in dreams, where I do not have the advantage of my waking faculties to banish the apparition. When I do wake up, I feel that I have lost a part of myself. A piece of my sanity is missing.
I do not communicate with him, not because I do not want to, but because I know I shouldn't. It is the last kindness I can bestow upon him. And bestow. And bestow. Sometimes I demonstrate this charity many times a day. Every time I keep my mouth shut against my raging curiosity, the tally of my good deeds increases.
I want to know if I haunt him.
I am haunted by HER too, she used to live only a town over from where I live now. Somehow though, I have always come to the conclusion that I don't cross her mind ever, though I suppose it was my fault to begin with.
Perhaps once we replace that haunted hole with someone else, eventually the ghosts will have no way to get back in.
Posted by: Derek on April 10, 2003 09:51 PM