Things I'm Not Supposed to Think, Let Alone Write Down
I love you. I will always love you. But I have learned how to love you from a distance. My desire to be with you is so entwined with my desire that you be changed that I can no longer separate the two. I know it's not fair of me to want that. I know such an attitude is a barrier to our coming back together. And yet somehow I still wish for that as the surprise twist, the happy ending to our story. I am a fool. A wise fool, but a fool all the same. A fool for you.
Meredith,
What is this post about? Please don't tell me that you are in love with someone who has behaviors that contradict your values or who does not reciprocate your love? If this is the case, we need to talk cause I've been there and have conquered the demon. Stay true to yourself and you will endure even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.
Marie
Don't worry, Marie. It's more of a writing exercise than anything else. Indulging the inner romantic.
Posted by: Meredith on December 14, 2003 10:14 PMMeredith,
It sounds like your head, your heart and your faith are all in sync...a balanced place that mostly likely separates you from your twenty-something peers. I went through the gut-wreching "I love him, but he doesn't love me" relationship as well as the "we have nothing in common except hormones' relationship. Neither situation is satisfying. Fortunately, I have a husband of 15 years and our values (we discussed ahead of time) are the same and I have never felt anything but comfortable in his presence. That was how I knew that it was the real thing. I would not wish the angst of my past on anyone and was just hoping that you would not compromise yourself for someone not worth it.
This blog thing is wonderfully cathartic. In regards to your email, Kathy will be receiving her package soon.
all my best, Marie
Posted by: Marie on December 15, 2003 07:52 PMThis blog thing is wonderfully cathartic.
I have been thinking the same thing myself. :)
Posted by: Meredith on December 15, 2003 10:43 PM