Last night I dreamed I met someone I have only had the pleasure of knowing online. She happens to write a very popular blog, and in my dream the sense was that I was in the presence of greatness. I was hanging out with a celebrity and my own status was rapidly approaching mini-celebrity by association. It was very cool. And surreal. As most dreams are.
I think I may have dreamed these things because I don't know anyone like her in real life and I wish I did.
I popped in my old Counting Crows cd (Recovering the Satellites) cuz I hadn't listened to it in forever and I wanted to see if it was still as good as before. It is.
So I'm singing my soul out with Adam and all of a sudden it hits me... I sound awesome! I sound like my voice is coming out of the stereo. Then I realized it was just my comp. The LCD on my laptop created a little echo chamber when I sang in front of it. There goes my dream of being a rockstar.
I was supposed to go on a camping trip this weekend, but it was cancelled in favor of camping in our homes. We picnicked in the kitchen with ham sandwiches and potato salad out of the cooler. We grabbed the ol' guitar and sang songs around the (candlelit) campfire. We sat back and listened to the sounds of nature relentlessly beating the neighborhood to a pulp.
Sideways rain on the day of the big test--just the thing to make you psyched for school.
I feel a rant coming on...
This particular rant happens to be on behalf of any and all non-kretin men inhabiting the planet. WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THE SO-MARKETED "MALE" VALUES ESPOUSED ON CABLE TELEVISION??? I give you:
Exhibit A: The Man Show
Exhibit B: The First Network for Men
If I were a man, I would resent these characterizations. As it happens, I do resent Lifetime, WE, and Oxygen, but for some reason the "women's" channels do not seem nearly as degrading and insulting as their male counterparts.
And why is devolution appealing when couched in comedy, as if somehow it's... funny? Granted, it might be funny if it weren't so painfully real. If every frat party weren't an hômmage to Animal House minus the endearing characters and quotable lines. If people didn't actually die as a result of alcohol abuse or sexually transmitted diseases.
Why is it ok to personify the phrase lowest common denominator? Why aren't "men" concerned with the advancement of the species? Why? Why?
Christy's Version:
"She f***in' hit me! I couldn't believe what she and Blake were doing so I went over there and I told her off. I mean, come on, dumping pizza boxes in Phil's room? What are we, babies? You throw them away. It doesn't take that much effort. I can't stand the way they mistreat Phil. He's made to feel like a guest in his own home, y'know. He's afraid to touch anything, and it's all Stacy's fault. She has to have everything perfectly clean for her allergies. She doesn't have allergies, what she has is psych problems. I told her next time she's in the hospital she should get a psych evaluation...
... And that's when she hit me."
Stacy's Version:
"I have to tell you what happened last night. We were all at the apartment when Christy shows up and just starts yelling at me! She was blaming me for Blake wanting to keep the apartment clean, and for him not letting Phil sublet his room--stuff that had nothing to do with me. I don't know where she gets off saying that's my fault. So I pretty much just ignored her, but she wouldn't stop. Then she started saying stuff to Erica like, 'How would you like to know that Stacy and your brother have sex all the time?' which is completely untrue! She said other things, too, really crude, horrible things. I was so upset I was shaking. I kept telling her to leave, but she wouldn't go. She just kept saying stuff. And you know what she said after that? She said that I don't really have allergies, and that she and Marie brought Marie's cat up there to prove it...
... And that's when I hit her."
I have a secret. I didn't intend for it to be a secret; I just can't tell anybody. The truth is... something really grand has happened to me, but I am afraid I know how people will react if I tell them. I can hear the concerned "Oh, Meredith"'s already. Then I will have to say, "No, no, it's okay. There's nothing to worry about," which just makes me sound defensive and delusional. And then comes the skeptical "Well, okay, if you say so," which will, of course, make me question whether I really am delusional. So, rather than being elated, I will become paranoid.
I think I'll just keep it to myself and enjoy it as long as I can, thank you.
Two years in college time = an epoch
Two years in real world time = 5 minutes
Therefore, if you go back and visit people who are still in college, while it seems like just seconds ago that you were their peer, they will think you are OLD.