Everybody go see Strong Bad's email... and stop staring at me, like you're waiting for me to say something.
Anybody wanna write my 10-page paper for me? The topic is ventricular dysphonia. Ready, go!
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Update!
The paper is finished and turned in. Now I need to find something else to stress out over.
I went back to one of the places of my past. It was ill-kept and overgrown. No one knew where I was. No one cared.
I picked through the dense brush, feeling my way, uncovering the path I knew was there, until at last I saw it. It was as I remembered. I stood in the same spot I did a year ago, and time stood still. I wanted to hack through this jungle; I wanted to take over what had been neglected. But I lacked the skills necessary for such a task. My wish to remember could not override the existent desire to forget. Someone wanted this place forgotten, and me with it.
I submit the following for your amusement. For one of my projects at school, I had to elicit narrative samples from children. The original narratives below were given over the course of one evening by Ryan, age 5.
?The Dinosaur Could Walk. That?s the cover page. One time, when the dinosaur had a cut-off leg, it still could walk. But couldn?t walk. Couldn?t get out of the way. The end.?
?The Snake. The Snake, that?s the cover page. The snake could walk, but the snake keeped falling down. It couldn?t even stand up. The end.?
?The Lizard. The lizard could walk, but it didn?t have any teeth. But it could sneak under doors and it can, and it can sneak, sneak up your head. The end.?
?The Shark. And this is the cover page, The Shark. The shark could swim in the sea. And it eats the crocodiles. And it eats the dolphins. And it eats the octopuses. The end.?
?The Raptor. The raptor could eat every animal, every dinosaur in the world. And it had sharp claws. And it?s evil. And it?s very evil. And it sneaks, try to be quiet coming in the door. And, and come into you and sneak into your house and, and, and cutting your arm off and you?d be dead. The end.?
?The Deadly Man. The deadly, the deadly man couldn?t do anything but it died all day long. And, and, and it keeped? It got bited by a snake and, and? [At this point, Ryan paused and one of his siblings watching TV shouted, ?She?s got two sets of twins!?] And the twins died and, and the end.?
?The Eyeball That Could. The eyeball died all along and it couldn?t get up but only his blood, blood. And it hopped in the bookbag and when the person opened it, they throwed up in the bookbag on the eyeball. And, and, and trash was in there and slugs and the end.?
?The Kid That Could. The kid, the kid flied up in the airplane and they goed to Mexico and there it died. The kid died at Mexico and, and the kid throwed up. When the kid throwed up, when the kid throwed up, when the kid throwed up ?cause he looked around and looked at the old [unintelligible] eyeball and he squished it with a foot and then he looked at the bottom of his feet. He throwed up and, and trashtruck and slugs on the bottom of his foot and trash and spiders. The end.?
I just found out that I am related (albeit somewhat distantly) to the bassist from Carbon Leaf, only my most favorite band.
See if you can follow me here:
My mother is Joanne,
whose brother is Fred,
whose daughter is Candace,
whose mother is Constance,
whose brother is Jerry,
whose son is Jordan Medas,
the bassist from Carbon Leaf.
He is my first cousin's first cousin. I feel so special.