Jairus' Daughter

Theology 101

I read an entry today (I can't remember where--I was bloghopping) in which the author was lamenting her disillusionment with the Divine.  She denounced whatever higher power existed in the universe for allowing bad things to happen in the world and in her life, and for "his/her/its" failure to answer her prayers.  It intrigued me that someone could be so astute and so clueless at the same time.

I say astute because she recognizes that there is a Power beyond herself, and it is real enough to her that she will honestly pray to it.  I say clueless because while she believes in a Supreme Being, she thinks she can approach Him on her own terms.  Here's the thing, and pay attention, people...  If God were obligated to do whatever you say, then you would be God.  I don't think many people grasp the disparity between Creator and created.

To them, God is a fairytale--a bedtime story that parents tell their children (and adults recall to themselves) so that they can sleep at night without having to face the alternative:  that their existence is utterly without meaning, and there is no overarching force for good in the universe.  Everyone goes to heaven when they die, just like Santa visits every home on Christmas Eve.  It is our popular mythology, and people are content to accept it blindly and without investigation.

One question derails the whole thing:  how do you know that?  How do you know that God is loving and fair and won't let anyone go to hell?  How do you know that He is responsible for making sure nothing bad ever happens, especially to you?  How do you know these things?  And behind a puzzled expression is a cosmic understanding based solely on preconceived ideas and superstition.

Here's a clue:  everything you need to know is in the Bible.  Some things about God are intended to be a mystery, but a great many are not.  In the Bible, we are given a detailed account of who God is, who He expects us to be, and how to reach Him.  There is no reason to wonder.  I'll give you the Reader's Digest version...

Yes, God is loving and fair, but He is also holy (morally perfect).  So holy, in fact, that He can not tolerate sin (moral imperfection) in any form, in any degree.  Because He loves us, He affords us the perquisite of free will.  Being endowed with this "right to choose" we have consistently chosen moral imperfection.  This is a big problem for God, who intended for us to be in relationship with Him, but now can not have anything to do with our sinful selves.  To satisfy the requirement of His own holiness, He came to earth as a human (Jesus Christ) and bore the punishment (crucifixion and hell) for our wrongdoing.  Because He didn't deserve it, it can then be applied to every one of us who did.  That is why we can say, literally, He died for you.  But God will not violate our right to choose, even to save us from damnation.  We have to choose to accept His sacrifice on our behalf.  And to maintain the restored relationship now available to us, we have to choose every day to put aside our self-seeking agenda and seek Him instead.

That is when God answers prayers in the affirmative--when we pray according to His agenda and not our own.  It requires humility to admit you are not the dominant being in the universe, and to submit to the One who is.  But many today continue to snap their fingers at the cosmic bellhop and believe themselves to be gods.

Pictures as Promised

Check 'em out.

Tip:  The slideshow at a 5 second delay is superhot.

Out-i 5000

I'm going on a trip, so expect lots of lovely pictures when I get back.

Toodles.

Some things never change.

Meredith, age 6, dancing in her living room

Meredith, age 21, dancing in someone else's living room

Felicitations

My ex-boyfriend is now married.

I need to say that a few times until it becomes real.

My ex-boyfriend is now married.

He lives in northern Virginia.  I live in southern Virginia.  I heard it from a friend in Missouri.

My ex-boyfriend is now married.

I had to catch myself because I almost said, "No, they're just engaged.  They're not getting married until August."

My ex-boyfriend is now married.

And I wasn't expecting to have to deal with it until September.

Question of the Day

Is introversion a handicap?  Discuss.

Blindfold, please.

If you knew then what you know now, would you do it all again?

That's a luxury of a question.  I stand on the precipice, looking ahead to where I've already been and wishing--just wishing--that I could relegate it to the irretrievable past.  But the hypothetical is real, and I must face the same challenge again, knowing everything that I know now:  the pitfalls, the pain, the power of my weaknesses when used against me.  How do I steel myself for such a battle?  I know how to stand and fight in ignorance, but hindsight melts my courage.  I am not the first to feel dread, however.  The very Son of God grappled with the agony of foreknowledge, and I take my example from Him:

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say?  'Father, save me from this hour'?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name!" - John 12:27-8

Thinking of You

I drove home in the past-twilight-but-not-yet-midnight dark, hovering over the smooth pavement that appeared not to have a single seam.  (One of) My favorite song(s) came on the radio--from the beginning--so I turned it up.  My head started to hurt, so I turned it down.  My head kept hurting, so I turned it off.  I needed to think.  I was surprised at how not-disappointed I was to have foregone listening to (one of) my favorite song(s) from beginning to end, as I am wont to do when the rare occasion presents itself.  It is an even rarer occasion when my thoughts manifest themselves in cranial discomfort in order to gain my attention.  Something was bothering me.  What was it?  Someone was on my mind, and he wasn't leaving.  But that was alright.  I wanted him there.  I wanted him in the car with me, and even shot a glance at the passenger's seat, just in case I was now able to wish things into being.  Not this time.  Regardless, I had a long conversation with Those present, during which I put voice to my resounding thoughts.  They felt better having been spoken, having not been ignored, having not been disavowed.  But in the end, they are just thoughts, unable to accomplish anything real except, perhaps, to give me a headache.

Porn, porn, go away.

Porn makes me angry.  I don't even have to see it.  The fact that it is an unwelcome intruder in the cyberspaces I call my own is reason enough for ire.  You would think that the pornmongers of the internet would receive enough traffic from the actual perverts and frat guys of the world to keep their children in shoes.  But that's not enough to satisfy them; they have to send out their links like swarms of locusts to pollute and devour.  Perhaps they think that if someone sees porn ads in great enough number, eventually he will click on one.  I can't imagine that happens enough to make the bombardment worthwhile.  I can only speak for myself, but repeated nuisance doesn't miraculously spark desire.  It makes me angry.

Free at Last, etc.

Hello, old blog!  How I've missed you!

If a month isn't listed in my MT archives, does that mean it didn't exist?  Did it vanish to the Bermuda Triangle of calendar units, never to be seen nor heard from again?  July, 2004?  Nope, that year it just went straight from June to August.

I would have written this post sooner, but when I saw how my lovely domain had become overgrown with spam for penis pills and gay porn (including one for "gay turkey" that made me giggle), I had to do a little cleaning.

For all those genuinely concerned--and I thank you for all your correspondence and well wishes--I am doing fine.  I am still in school; I did not fail clinic; I am anticipating the soon return of my sanity.  The next three weeks promise a MUCH needed respite from academic idiocy, after which I am sure I will be able to speak in complete sentences again.

In the meantime, send me love so I'll know you are still reading.  And watch out for flaming farm animals.