I'm married.
HOLY @#$%! I'M MARRIED!
This is probably going to sound like the stupidest thing I've ever said, but getting married changed my life. No, really. I couldn't have anticipated what it would be like to be in a room with 100+ people who are connected to me because of some degree of love. For this isolationist only child loner, it was the first time I really understood what it meant to have friends, what it meant to have family. I understood why people have children, and why I want to have children—I wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity to feel this feeling again. And I think children embody it.
There were so many sweet moments that day that I'm afraid they'll slip away if I don't capture them in words.
seeing all my friends come through the door that morning for brunch
seeing the tears in Jason's eyes as I walked down the aisle
getting the church giggles during my vows (yep, that's me)
hearing the vows that Jason had written and remembering why I fell in love with him
waiting for permission to kiss him
strangers congratulating us on the beach when we went out there for pictures
being first through a buffet (that's never happened to me before!)
seeing half the room stand up when the photographer called "Meredith's Bible study girls"
kneeling down to hug my little cousin Catherine and having her run into my arms
Jason singing to me through our first dance
dancing with my dad (who remained incredibly cool throughout the whole event, I must add)
Derek's toast
hearing Superfreak come on (as requested by our PASTOR'S WIFE)
seeing Calvin get crazy on the dance floor
Ellie catching the bouquet (just like I did at her sister's wedding when I was her age) and Calvin catching the garter
seeing everyone wave as we drove off in the Barracuda
It was a most amazing day.
I gotta say... The day before my wedding was like walking on a cloud (once we got the dress crisis straightened out). I have never felt so much love in one room as I did at the rehearsal dinner. It was a day I would love to rewind over and over. But not necessarily when I'm trying to get to sleep. My body was exhausted, but my mind would not shut up. And then I would start to drift off and it got worse. It was like the person who makes stupid comments at a movie:
Oh, wow! That didn't happen today. And I don't know those people at all. I must be dreaming!
Dude, shut up! You're ruining it!
There was a glorious moment after 3am of absolute nothingness, but then around 5 somebody's sprinklers came on.
And... we're back.
It's the week of the wedding and I feel like I'm standing in line for a roller coaster. When I finally get to the front, I know all I can do is strap in and hold on. One of my bridesmaids called on Thursday in a panic. Her dress is at the tailor. They're closed until next week.
Here we go.
Chk-a chk-a chk-a chk-a chk-a chk-a chk-a chk-a... Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!